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Saturn Joystick Project
The project pages have a large number of inline jpegs, a necessary evil. If you have a slow connection you may wish to turn automatic image loading off. All of the photos have alternate text labels for your browsing pleasure.
Please read these important disclaimers.
This page is maintained by Matt Staroscik, who has no time to design Java applets, cutting-edge Shockwave animations, background MIDI music, or other tomfoolery. This home page is under construction, and no warranty, express or implied, applies to its contents. Matt Staroscik assumes no liability for damages caused by reckless use of this or any web page. No animals were harmed during the construction of this home page. This home page is recommended by 3 out of 5 dentists, and has been found effective in laboratory tests. This home page may not be legal in some states. Do not view this home page while driving or operating heavy machinery. Avoid dairy products while viewing this home page. Do not view this home page if you have asthma, glaucoma, emphysema, chronic pulmonary disease, or shortness of breath. May cause excitability, especially in children. Do not simultaneously view any other web pages containing diphenhydramine. As with any web page, seek the advice of a health care professional if you are pregnant or are nursing a baby before viewing. Store at room temperature. Protect from moisture.In case of accidental overdose, seek professional assistance or contact a Poison Control Center immediately. Apply to affected areas once or twice daily. For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes. May bleach colored fabrics. Keep this and all web pages out of the reach of children. Avoid inhaling vapors. Close cap tightly to preserve contents. Keep from freezing. Do not use in large quantities, particularly over raw surfaces or blistered areas. Not for use on wild or domestic animal bites. May explode if subjected to impact, electric shock, or intense heat. Careless or incorrect web browsing can cause hazardous conditions resulting in severe injury to persons and property. Web browsing should only be done by competent adults after proper instruction. If rash develops, discontinue use.
The author also can't be held responsible if the misapplication of information in these pages causes you to accidentally short out something in your Playstation or Saturn and cause a huge fire that ruins your life and folds space around your home.
Apologies for the uninspired, retro page design, with no spinning, flaming logos. You'll get over it.
You Don't Know Jack and the disturbingly-large forehead logo are trademarks of Berkeley Systems Inc. and are used without permission, but I'd sure like to think that if some Berkeley Systems lawyer saw this site, he (or she) would say to themselves, "Hmm, this guy is promoting one of our products and what's more seems to be quite clever, so because of that, and the fact that I just sued the bejeezus out of someone else and I am feeling pretty good today, I think I'll let this site slip by without a lawsuit so big it would probably undergo a gravitational collapse and form a black hole that would eventually eat the whole planet."